YEP: Sad desk lunch life hack
I’m not a fan of making myself lunch because I find the whole process of preparing food deadly boring, but I also hate spending money on going out to eat every day, so I’ve developed a system that gets me through the week relatively nourished, with minimal effort. Allow me to share my lunchtime life hack with you. It’s hella depressing, but it works.
Step one: Invest in Tupperware (I derive a lot of joy in my life from Tupperware. Your thirties are sad, y’all.)
Step two: Buy some sandwich fixings. Nothing fancy. Cheese and lunchmeat and stuff. This ain’t Versailles.
Step three: Spend thirty minutes of your Sunday making five identical sandwiches.
Step four: Supplement with bags of novelty snacks not unlike the Jalapeno Poppers-flavored cheese puffs pictured here.
Step five: Bring to work and shove everything into the office refrigerator, rudely taking up too much room.
Step six: Eat the exact same lunch for five days straight.
Step seven: Enjoy a life of drudgery while exerting zero effort in order to ingest the minimum amount of calories to sustain life.
Step eight: Party!