Salvation Pretty

thoughts about the cool stuff in my house and weird stuff on the internet

internetluddite:

YEP: Sad desk lunch life hack
I’m not a fan of making myself lunch because I find the whole process of preparing food deadly boring, but I also hate spending money on going out to eat every day, so I’ve developed a system that gets me through the week relatively nourished, with minimal effort. Allow me to share my lunchtime life hack with you. It’s hella depressing, but it works.
Step one: Invest in Tupperware (I derive a lot of joy in my life from Tupperware. Your thirties are sad, y’all.)
Step two: Buy some sandwich fixings. Nothing fancy. Cheese and lunchmeat and stuff. This ain’t Versailles.
Step three: Spend thirty minutes of your Sunday making five identical sandwiches.
Step four: Supplement with bags of novelty snacks not unlike the Jalapeno Poppers-flavored cheese puffs pictured here.
Step five: Bring to work and shove everything into the office refrigerator, rudely taking up too much room.
Step six: Eat the exact same lunch for five days straight.
Step seven: Enjoy a life of drudgery while exerting zero effort in order to ingest the minimum amount of calories to sustain life.
Step eight: Party!

internetluddite:

YEP: Sad desk lunch life hack

I’m not a fan of making myself lunch because I find the whole process of preparing food deadly boring, but I also hate spending money on going out to eat every day, so I’ve developed a system that gets me through the week relatively nourished, with minimal effort. Allow me to share my lunchtime life hack with you. It’s hella depressing, but it works.

Step one: Invest in Tupperware (I derive a lot of joy in my life from Tupperware. Your thirties are sad, y’all.)

Step two: Buy some sandwich fixings. Nothing fancy. Cheese and lunchmeat and stuff. This ain’t Versailles.

Step three: Spend thirty minutes of your Sunday making five identical sandwiches.

Step four: Supplement with bags of novelty snacks not unlike the Jalapeno Poppers-flavored cheese puffs pictured here.

Step five: Bring to work and shove everything into the office refrigerator, rudely taking up too much room.

Step six: Eat the exact same lunch for five days straight.

Step seven: Enjoy a life of drudgery while exerting zero effort in order to ingest the minimum amount of calories to sustain life.

Step eight: Party!

internetluddite:

NOPE: Finding out that Bea Arthur hated the rest of the Golden Girls

The Huffington Post very wisely avoided referring to this list of Golden Girls trivia as “fun facts” because learning that Bea Arthur hated both cheesecake and the guts of her cast mates is like having a rug pulled out from under my entire childhood. All was not paradise out on the lanai? How can this be? Like the time I was cleaning out my grandma’s house after she died and I found her vibrator, I’d rather not know this.

I don’t care if the Friends were friends but the Golden Girls not liking each other is a devastating revelation.

internetluddite:

image

Pizza is delicious and everyone loves it because it tastes like pure cheesy, saucy, starchy happiness. This is not a debatable point; it’s a fact. Yes, we all enjoy a slice or twenty, but why do we feel the need to rep pizza so hard, like it’s a goddamn Joy Division t-shirt? I mean, pizza is…

STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE SPECIAL FOR LIKING PIZZA. EVERYONE LIKES PIZZA.

I sort of let this thing go fallow over the last year but if anyone is still out there, I’ll be making cranky posts at my new tumblr, Internet Luddite. I hope you enjoy my new approach, as an older and wiser person, of hating everything!

internetluddite:

image

The Today Show has been creeping me out all this week with a segment they’ve dubbed “Box Office Babies”, featuring the normal growth process of people who are famous for movies they don’t remember making. (And no, I’m not talking about Lindsay Lohan. While I’m confident that she has no…

vogue:

How to Wear Overalls Right
See the slideshow

I didn’t click through. Is the answer “Be a beautiful model”?

vogue:

How to Wear Overalls Right

See the slideshow

I didn’t click through. Is the answer “Be a beautiful model”?

nevver:

Baggage

Funny, my psychiatrist has the same thing written on a plaque in his office.

nevver:

Baggage

Funny, my psychiatrist has the same thing written on a plaque in his office.

nevver:

I’m sticking with a hard “G” (like “graphic”, as in “graphic image file”)

I’m for the hard “G” too, because every “gif” is a “gift”!

growltiger:

90sareallthat:

Have you made your meme yet? You still have a chance to get your genius-ness on TV starting this Monday! Get on it right here: http://at.nick.com/18Wb7yo

If you love 90s Nick and you also love things like the internets and tumblr and whatever, SURELY you will want to watch The 90s Are All That every night at midnight on teennick! It’s MEMEorial Week and we are airing YOUR genius meme captions as packaging, and what’s more — we actually went into all the episodes we’re airing across the stunt and we wrote memeriffic captions for the hilarity that happens onscreen.


Wait, Bex, what? Are you saying that when I watch 90s cartoons every night at midnight between 12am and 2am, I will actually get to see memeriffic captions appear ON THE TV SCREEN, as if the internets are actually watching these cartoons along with me and putting funny ha-ha captions over the tv shows?

Yes. That is exactly what I am saying. And you are very welcome.

Thanks for the MEMEories, Bex!

I look at this and I feel weirdly calm. I guess Ke$ha gifs are how I meditate.

I look at this and I feel weirdly calm. I guess Ke$ha gifs are how I meditate.

(Source: rosieecr)

flavorpill:

That is RuPaul at prom. You’re welcome.
27 Awesome Photos of Cultural Icons at Prom

Shantay, you stay!

flavorpill:

That is RuPaul at prom. You’re welcome.

27 Awesome Photos of Cultural Icons at Prom

Shantay, you stay!

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