Software engineer Rob Rhinehart thinks he never has to eat a traditional meal ever again. The 24-year-old from Atlanta, GA has developed a strange beige drink named “Soylent,” in reference to the 1973 science fiction film Soylent Green, which he claims contains all the required nutrients to form a healthy diet. In a recent interview with Vice, Rhinehart revealed he thinks the world would be much better off if his concoction was adopted by the masses, resulting in an overall healthier populace.
Some advice for Rob Rhinehart, who is most certainly a weirdo:
1. Soylent Green is MADE OF PEOPLE, so maybe you shouldn’t name your health drink after it. In general, it is not smart to allude to cannibalism when you are marketing a new beverage.
2. Also, you might want to do something to the color and consistency so that it no longer looks like a giant glass of splooge. Even sploogelovers rarely want a giant glass of the stuff, so I doubt that the general population will be lining up for something with such splooge-like qualities. And don’t try to say that I should put it on my skin because it’s “good for it” due to all the “protein.” That’ll only make it worse.
3. If you want to convince people of the healthiness of that drink, consider changing your shirt. Black v-necks are worn mainly by dudes who are trying to camouflage a beer gut or saggy man boobs - just ask Louis CK.
Hey, I just thought you should know that Lifter Puller (Craig Finn’s band before The Hold Steady) was on an episode of The Jenny Jones Show in 1999. The episode was called “Stripper Wars”, which fits right in with the Lifter Puller mythology.